The Unhappy Fat Girl: April 2014

About me and my mission

Hello, my name is Erica and I'm 26. Welcome to The Unhappy Fat Girl! This blog is going to be about my journey to lose weight and become healthy. I honestly don't have a plan other than I am going to start small. The reason I started this blog is to create something be accountable to. I think it will help me get where I want to be. Another reason I decided to do this was maybe someone, somewhere, will stumble upon this and find motivation for themselves to become healthier too.

My History: I have been heavy for as long as I can remember. I was always a pretty fit kid, though a little chunky. From the first years of grade school to my early years of highschool, I was very self conscious. I used to get teased by my classmates about how I looked, which impacted my self esteem for many years.
My family tried to guide me in the right direction when it came to eating. I think the sadness I had from being teased so often was heavier on my mind than how to eat right. Part of my problem growing up was that I took comfort in food. Now that I'm older and a little wiser, I can identify those issues.
Currently, I am not sure of my weight. I know that the scale at the doctors office maxed out at 350lbs. When I stood there, watching the nurse try to get my weight... I wanted to break down and cry... I remember thinking to myself; "What have I done to myself?!" and knew then and there, it was time to change. So, here I am, putting it in writing for the world to see; I am changing my life for the better. I want things that I can't currently achieve. One day, saying "I can't." will be replaced with "I did!"
I don't know what I will blog about, how often, or what successes I will have. I don't know what failures I will have either, which is why I am thankful for any and all of my followers. Having people there to push me when I want to give up, to celebrate my successes with me, and to pick me up when I trip and fall. Out of all the times I've tried to get healthy, I think this will be the winner. With you all backing me up, I can't lose!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Food for Thought

So I have been bad the past few days. My friend took me out to lunch a couple days ago. I had the thickest burger I've had in probably 10 years. Spicy fries on the side.
Today I cut up some potatoe wedges and cooked them with parsley, minced onion and garlic, salt, pepper, and oregano. Oooook so I've goofed up and let myself stray. I am going to get back on track though.
My convictions from this week might have led me to this next part...

I have had this chili-craving fad for about 2 or 3 weeks now and I've changed how I make it a couple times. So the first time:
1 can of chili
About a cup of fritos
About a quarter of a cup of a yellow onion chopped
A dollop of sour cream
About half a cup of cheese. (I know, thats alot, just hear me out).
I would cook the onions and chili in the microwave then add the cheese, fritos, and sour cream. Its probably really bad for me but dang that was tasty. So... I ran out of cheese one time when I made some that was cheeseless.Now my current fixings is alot better. Now I make it like this:
1 can of chili
1/2 a cup of fritos
About a tablespoon of sour cream
No cheese!
Oh and i use about 1/4th of a nice sized yellow onion now. Its sooooo much better without cheese.
So it fills me up and its not as bad for me as it was the firat few times I made it.

Tonight I got the recipie from my grandmother for this incredible chocolate pudding she makea around chriatmas. Sugar free pudding (so its healthier AND my mom can eat it too) and cool whip that i believe is fat free... maybe its sugar free... I can't remember now. Anyways
Its gonna be like Chrisas at grandmas! Only I am putting peanut butter chips on top. I will post a picture later this week when I make it, cause honestly... who DOESN'T love a chocolate pie?!

Daily thought: Ever wish life was like a recipie? Imagine substatuting your fat girl sweatpants for those skinny jeans! Oh yeah!!! Dream I might, but that would be awesome.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Progress vs. Failure

Ive been thinking alot lately about what success really is. Its kind of complicated yet very simple. Just like the night needs the day, success needs failure. See, without one, the other would simply not exist. We have to fail every now and then in order to know how to succeed.

To me, I guess there's different ways I feel about success. When I go without eating fast food, thats an accomplishment; no matter how small. So I think my rambling is basicly about having our own ways of making success for ourselves. No one but our "self" knows what success is.

For me, success was putting fresh onion in my chili today instead of cheese. It is about drinking more water with that nice water bottle I got from my aunt. Also, its about not getting fast food for the past 2.5 weeks.

I think I have lost a little bit of weight over the past month or two. My jeans aren't as snug as they used to be when they come out of the dryer. I'm starting to see how all the little things I've done in the past 2 months have added up.
SUCCESS!

Conclusion: Don't let someone elses success become your own goal. Make your own success and watch how far you will go!